There is no after-party at Medieval Times

April 21, 2009

You are truly a blessed person if you have the privilege of entering the mystical world of Medieval Times. And if the Big Lady above is really looking out for you, you may even get two visits under your armor.  Once you know the wenches by name, you become a M.T.G. (Medieval Times’ Groupie) – just like The Cable Guy.  I won’t judge what I may one day become.

medievaltimes

Photo stolen from Darren Lasso esquire darrenlasso.com all rights reserved

I learned a few important things as a big kid at Medieval Times.

1. The Green Knight of Asturius is the hot-tempered warrior. He’s arrogant and stubborn – the exact qualities that most women desire. He was my favorite. I met him after the show, and I was very disappointed to learn that he was a modest, polite man – there wasn’t even a hint of sarcasm or annoyance in his voice.

2. There are only nine castles in the United States. What a shame. I can knock off the Illinois & New Jersey Castles from my hot-spot destination list.  Lucky maiden I am.

3. Don lofre Santa Creu, aka the B&W Knight, always wins.  It would have been good to know that secret prior to sitting in the blue section. The Blue Knight blows. I did feel some compassion for him as we left the castle. He looked blue so I told him he put up a good fight (a special moment captured on camera).  He didn’t though. Green Knight should have won.

4. Perspectives change. The knights looked a tad bit different than I remembered as a 9-year-old kid. The shock didn’t hit me until I saw the knights up-close. I’d guess these guys might be around 19 or 20-years-old max.  Not how I remembered them at all.

5. I’m digging the long-haired Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt-look. I feel a comeback. When the economy starts growing, mark my word, the hair will too.

6. Eating the feast without utensils was not as thrilling to me as an adult. It’s just the norm. Maybe I should re-evaluate my dining style.

7. As I was told by my teenage waiter, and retold by Don Temple, there is no after-party at Medieval Times.

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8 Responses to “There is no after-party at Medieval Times”


  1. Just a heads up that the Black & White knight doesn’t always win. The winning knight changes daily. Last time I went to the show the Blue Knight won — and he definitely enjoyed attention from the crowd.

    If you decide to head back to one of the castles in the near future, we have a Free Royalty Upgrade deal right now. Just enter ROYALB9 when making your reservation and you’ll get bumped up to preferred seating and find goodies at your seats. The offer runs through May 31, but it can’t be combined with other deals.

    • kzmuda Says:

      Thanks for the info … It’s good to know that the Blue Knight experiences a victory here and there. He deserves it.

      I appreciate the Royalty Upgrade, and now I may have to return to the castle sooner than I planned. Any backstage passes or after-party? There’s gotta be something!

      I appreciate it.

  2. Rachel Says:

    Do they serve beer at Medieval Times? If so, does it come in a medieval-looking mug made of wood, or does it come in a plastic cup? I think the answer to this question may determine whether or not I visit the castle..Also, is heckling allowed?

    • kzmuda Says:

      Well, that is a make-or-break question, and I’m glad you asked, Rachel. M.T. does serve a small variety of draft beer which will quench any maiden’s thirst. Although it was not a wooden mug, the plastic cup was a hologram and quite the collector’s item… I believe I lost mine somewhere along the way that evening since the celebrations continued well beyond the castle.

      Heckle away.

  3. MarkH Says:

    If they start doing after-parties, I am definitely going. We have one nearby in Baltimore.

  4. kzmuda Says:

    Either way. Definitely go. It will change your life. Whatever you do, don’t sit in the blue section. Trust me.

  5. kelly Says:

    just so you know, i’ve gone to medieval times three times and every time that i have gone the black and white knight has won. i love medieval times and it won’t keep me from going again. i am older now and enjoy acting surprised with my kids! after a few drinks of the 1/2 jack, 1/2 coke… its not too hard!

    • kzmuda Says:

      Glad you share the medieval love. I need to get back there soon. It’s hard to get to the New Jersey castle from NYC due to limited transportation. Enjoy your 1/2 jack, 1/2 coke combo next time you’re there and thanks for the note.


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